


i'm a rip-off (and it turns you on)

by tenderybitch (FictitiousFanatisch)



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Dom/sub Undertones, Face-Fucking, Hand & Finger Kink, Hand Jobs, Hotel Sex, Jealousy, M/M, Manhandling, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Power Bottom Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Shower Sex, Smut, idolverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictitiousFanatisch/pseuds/tenderybitch
Summary: Ten thinks one of the only bad things about Huang Xuxi is that he’s straight.(Or is he...?)or two times ten gets what he wants and the third time xuxi gives him way more than he bargained for
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 20
Kudos: 321





	1. Chapter 1

_**2018** _

It’s a good thing every Wednesday afternoon Kun hyung visits the trainees. He brings them low calorie snacks and offers words of encouragement. They all know how difficult it can be, especially for a strict company like theirs. It’s a sweet gesture, one Ten can commend him for. He almost wants to thank him personally—not for the philanthropy, but for vacating the dorm.

Ten’s eyes flutter as Xuxi’s dick hits the back of his throat, fingernails biting into the meat of his thighs. The younger’s head knocks against the wall, fingers curling in his hair. 

He can’t help but peer up once just to steal his reaction— the way his brows furrow, mouth parting slightly, tongue peeking out to wet across his bottom lip. He’s so gorgeous. Ten is torn between envy and desire. 

He thinks he would get down on his knees for Xuxi all the time—every day of the fucking week—if he could. There’s something so gratifying about seeing his band mate this way, turning his wide, innocent eyes and shy smiles into this.

Ten may not be wise or kind hearted like Kun, but he loves taking care of the boy like this, in this way that only he can. 

He relaxes his jaw and takes him deeper. He bobs on his cock gently before pulling almost all the way off, leaving just the head between his pursed lips. He strokes the tip of his tongue back and forth along the underside before swirling it into the sensitive little v.

Xuxi moans gently, fingers twisting in Ten’s hair. He tugs on it softly, shyly, like he’s afraid of hurting him. It’s almost heartbreaking. Ten wishes he wouldn’t hold back. 

Then Ten takes his cock back into his mouth. Xuxi is big—the second biggest dick in NCT. (Don’t ask Ten how he knows.) He fills his mouth completely, forcing the roof and the flat of his tongue apart on his girth. It makes Ten’s jaw ache. To add insult to injury, he hollows out his cheeks to provide even more suction. 

The younger’s soft, needy noises spur Ten on, and he finds himself fighting his gag reflex. His eyes clench when he finally takes Xuxi all the way, pressing forward until his nose is flush against his belly, lips snug around the base, chin nudging his balls.

“Oh. _Hyung_ ,” Xuxi inhales sharply, both hands holding Ten’s head now, not guiding, just feeling. 

“Mm,” he affirms, running his fingertips up his shirt to trail over his sides, then back down to his hips and thighs. 

Ten deepthroats him like that, focusing all of his efforts on making the boy feel good, on keeping the rhythm. He’s relatively slow, leaving enough time between strokes to let Xuxi really revel in each layer of stimulation. 

He is unable to look away from Xuxi’s face, impatiently awaiting his reactions. It’s almost addictive. Pleasure washes over him so beautifully. Ten thinks if his mouth wasn’t full, he would talk to him. He wishes he could tell the boy how good he is, how pretty he looks. Right now, all he can do is trade those thoughts for actions. Which, is honestly better.

Xuxi is caught up in it and totally removed from their surroundings. Ten is almost certain he can’t focus on anything but his mouth, the hot, wet slide of it, and the tight hug of his throat. He can sense Xuxi losing control, can almost feel the exact moment where he drifts away and lets every tingle of pleasure caress his nerve endings, lets the heat flourish in his core.

His hips lurch forward once on their own, driving the tip down his throat with a force that takes Ten off guard. He digs his nails into the boy’s hips and gags slightly, but doesn’t pull off. Anticipation curls in his stomach at the thought of Xuxi fucking his face. 

He opens up wider and goes lax, lips loose around Xuxi’s girth, hands dropping to his sides. Ten glances up and the younger boy takes the hint immediately, fingers tightening in his hair and tugging him forward until he bumps the back of his throat again. 

Xuxi fucks forward tentatively at first, probably still scared of hurting the elder. He gradually works up to a quicker, more demanding pace — one that has Ten’s entire body flaring with such unbearable heat, nails pressing crescents into his palms. 

Xuxi is normally like a rich, thick honey that crawls as if time is obsolete. It’s invigorating to experience him being the total opposite of that: restless and desperate. It’s not much longer before his body and mind is overcome by the need for release. His movements echo that need — hips driving a little harder, thrusting his cock even _deeper._

He bites on his bottom lip, eyes rolling as he uses Ten’s mouth as he likes. He tries to be gentle still, but soon whatever focus that allowed him to be wanes as he gets closer and closer to his peak.

And Ten loves this so much. A little too much, to be honest. There’s a certain satisfaction building in him just from pleasuring his dongsaeng. 

At face value, he’s not getting anything out of it. But Ten loves this. He loves the way it _feels_. 

He should be more embarrassed that he gets off on kneeling on the floor with a bandmate’s dick in his mouth, jaw slack, eyes clenched and just taking it. But instead he relishes in every moment, whining softly when Xuxi _finally_ pulls his hair, using the leverage to haul him forward and penetrate his throat again, and again. 

It really is a blessing that he and Xuxi are still just NCT U members. Not being able to speak or sing might be a bit of a problem for those in more active units. 

A part of him _really_ wouldn’t mind being the dorm whore. God, this turns him _on_. Ten knows this feeling right now, whirring in his stomach, comes from a greater desire to be treated roughly, bossed around and degraded, like a slut. 

But Xuxi isn’t like that. He struggles to even reciprocate touch in situations like this, let alone the kind of touch Ten _craves._ He uses Ten with a tenderness uncharacteristic of his size and strength, cradling his head in his big palms, hips rocking to a steady beat. 

But it’s still nice. His movements are soothing, almost hypnotic and Ten is losing himself in it. He’s starting to abandon all thoughts entirely, his mind going blank as he’s used like an object, like a glory hole. 

Ten fades into what his bandmate is doing to him. It’s so gratifying that he almost doesn’t realize Xuxi is about to cum. But Ten feels his thigh muscles twitch, how his thrusts become somewhat sloppy and even fall out of time once or twice. 

“ _Hyung, I’m_ \- please, hyung, can I?” Xuxi stammers in a rush, and Ten can barely understand what he’s trying to say on a normal day, let alone in a moment like this. He hums anyway. 

Xuxi’s body tenses, head tipping back against the wall and exposing the long line of his neck. He moans long and low, stomach muscles spasming as he spills thick, hot ropes in Ten’s mouth, over his tongue and down his throat. 

He always cums so _much_ , everywhere, and Ten tries his best not to to splutter and cough. Xuxi rocks his hips gently, riding out the last waves of his orgasm. 

When it’s over, he falls back against the wall with a soft thud, spent. Ten swallows and pulls off carefully, fingers stroking over his hips, his thighs. He curls his fingers underneath the waist and of Xuxi’s boxers and pulls them back up. 

He looks so cute, messy dark hair drifting over his forehead, glassy eyes. Ten wants to kiss him. But they don’t do that.

“You’re so good, Xuxi. Such a good boy,” Ten whispers instead, nuzzling his face against his stomach. The boy pets his hair as he comes down, hard breaths becoming soft and slow. The shift is almost instant. 

“Thanks babe,” Xuxi murmurs. He always gets sleepy after sex.

Ten thinks one of the only bad things about Huang Xuxi is that he’s straight. They’ve been doing this for a month now. Ten has jerked and sucked his dick many times but under no circumstances does the boy touch him back. It seems unfortunate, but it’s probably better this way. Ten doesn’t think he could even handle it if Xuxi did. 

He thinks he would implode if he ever had those big hands on his body, roaming, or those long fingers wrapped around his dick, covering its entirety. He sometimes fantasizes about having them inside of him. Ten blushes at the thought of how deep they could get. 

He finds himself daydreaming about Xuxi’s cock too– big, thick, and long and how good he could make Ten feel with it. He can't even remember the last time he got fucked. 

Xuxi wouldn’t even have to _do_ anything, just sit back and watch as Ten worked _himself_ down onto his cock. He wants to ask one day. Hell, he will get on all fours and beg if he has to. 

But Ten doesn’t want to be rejected. For now he is content to just enjoy what little time they have before Kun inevitably returns to the dorm. 

“Anytime,” he says.


	2. Chapter 2

_**2019** _

Ten once said he wants to be a person who gets everything he wants. So it’s only fitting that he doesn’t let it go.

But they’re up to their necks in WayV promotions and SuperM tour preparations. To make matters worse, the dorm situation has changed drastically. Where there was once just Kun to worry about, now there’s Winwin, Xiaojun, Yangyang and Hendery too. 

It’s all very unfortunate and Ten gets a headache everytime he tries to imagine finding the time to fool around like they used to. It’s not impossible, but would take a degree of finesse he’s not sure he can muster at the moment.

Sure, Ten has other options, but there’s something about Xuxi that’s different, special, and maybe _better_. Perhaps he’s the forbidden fruit. Xuxi is like an itch Ten cannot scratch, seemingly so far out of reach. 

Sucking and jerking him off those few times was hardly enough to satiate this burning desire to have him in compromising ways others could only dream. If anything, it was the fuel to Ten’s flame. 

Xuxi gets under his skin. Just watching him during photoshoots, filming, or even in the mirror of the practice room, steals Ten’s breath away. 

Like now, his eyes follow Xuxi’s reflection, up the long line of his body, his perfect proportions– his endless legs, slim hips hugged loosely by the waistband of his black joggers, small waist, and muscled stomach just slightly visible through the side of his black tank top. 

Ten presses his thumb between his teeth, bearing down on it gently as he combs his gaze over his broad shoulders, then his biceps, down golden skin that stretches over his sinewy muscles. He wants to bite him, see if he tastes as good as he looks. And those hands– _fuck_. Ten has thought about them so much, it’s probably unhealthy.

“Hyung?” Xuxi turns then, hand going up to rub the back of his neck. 

“Hm?” he snaps out of it. 

They’re the only ones here, since the younger asked him to stay back after SuperM’s rehearsal and help him go over a part he was still not confident about. 

“Is it okay?” he smiles shyly, eyes big. 

“You look _fine_. Can we go now?” 

It’s not until the actual tour that Ten gets his chance. He and Xuxi are roommates for the first leg and if Ten’s imagination was running rampant back home, it’s totally out of his control now. He feels like he’s experiencing some sort of regression, impatiently waiting for a sweet treat or a big, shiny toy like the ones he got when he was a child. He can admit he was spoiled, and likewise really not used to waiting for what he wants. But it’s been like half a year since such a perfect opportunity has presented itself. He can’t help the anticipation. He’s even antsy on the plane.

The first few nights are difficult and that hope dwindles. It’s a rat race from the start. They only have a week to get a million things done. They’re still jet lagged so even activities that require bare minimum effort are exhausting. They crash almost instantly whenever they get back to a hotel. 

Ten barely has enough energy to hold a meaningful conversation with anyone, let alone shower after singing and dancing and speaking on stage. Everything about it is mentally, physically and emotionally draining. But it is the work he enjoys. It’s Ten’s first world tour and so far, he thinks it’s definitely an experience that will last a lifetime. Even if it almost kills him.

He regains his strength in Atlanta, but of course, it’s the New York show that turns the tide. It’s the last one until January so it really seems like now or never. The added adrenaline from performing at MSG, such a renowned venue, and the knowledge that they’re wrapping up the first leg there turns that post concert fatigue into unexpected energy. They go out to celebrate and Ten might drink a bit too much, which is either a good or bad thing depending on who you ask.

It’s not that Ten has been actively resisting the temptation of his bandmate. He would more likely say he was just waiting for the right moment to pounce on him. But either way, being drunk in a hotel room alone with Xuxi seems like that moment. 

It was Baekhyun hyung’s idea that they shower together–for “team bonding” he had said. But Ten’s not sure if it ever met its intended purpose. 

“Xuxi…” he mumbles from where he lays on his back on the bed, making grabby hands toward the younger. 

“What? What’s the matter?” Xuxi laughs gently as he rummages through his luggage for a change of clothes. He’s about to take a shower and Ten will be _very_ disappointed if he doesn’t get in on that. 

“I need to shower,” he says matter of factly.

“Sorry. Too slow,” the boy shrugs, tossing a shirt over his shoulder, zipping the suitcase closed and standing back up. 

“Yah. I’m your hyunggg. Your _gege_. You’re supposed to let me go first,” he complains.

“Sheesh you’re drunk,” Xuxi giggles. He’s so _pretty_. 

“‘M not,” he pouts, forcing his eyes to the wall. 

There’s a moment of silence that feels like it spans a lifetime, but still somehow not long enough for Ten to come to any conclusion about what to say next. Despite his words, he is definitely drunk and his brain feels like mush inside of his head. He can’t organize his thoughts or come up with a plan. 

He’s usually much more cunning, but at the moment his mind is overloaded by mental images of Xuxi’s naked body in the shower, warm breaths and soft skin and water droplets cascading down his neck, his chest. 

“Come on,” Ten hears, the words tearing him from his thoughts. 

“Let’s just go together?” Xuxi suggests, innocently. It’s the obvious solution. 

The elder shoots up with a renewed strength, not bothering to get clothes before traipsing after the younger into the bathroom. 

Xuxi peels his shirt over his head easily, letting it drop to the floor. His pants come down swiftly and by then Ten realizes maybe he should probably stop staring and start undressing himself too. 

Xuxi checks the temperature before climbing in. And Ten is drunk so he doesn’t hesitate to follow him. But once they’re both inside, the bubble of faux bravado pops and they’re both forced to acknowledge the situation for what it really is. They’re really _naked_ in this shower _together_. 

It really shouldn’t be weird. They share a dorm back home and have often seen each other in various states of undress. Not to mention those times Ten got on his knees for him. 

But it feels oddly intimate without the others here. It feels a little…gay. 

Xuxi cups his hand over his mouth to hide the grin that’s slowly taking over his face. 

Ten smiles innocently, “What?”

“Nothing,” he chuckles, the sound resonating deep in his chest.

“No homo. There. We’re safe,” Ten reminds as he takes the body wash out of Xuxi’s other hand, squeezing some into his palm. He lathers himself up easily. He’s not a shy person, especially in …these types of situations. 

“Right,” Xuxi nods, before moving to do the same. 

The cubicle is kind of small, but Xuxi is built like a beanpole so that helps. Speaking of Xuxi’s build, Ten can’t trust himself _not to look at it,_ so he turns his back to him, letting the warm water beat against his chest, washing the soapy suds away. If only it would cleanse the dirt in his mind as well. 

“Hyung,” Ten hears his voice behind him. It raises the hair on the back of his neck. 

“What?”

“You’re stealing all the hot water for yourself,” he complains.

Ten is intoxicated, so it takes his brain a little longer than usual to come up with a witty retort. But before he even can, his thoughts are scrambled when he feels big hands resting low on his waist, fingers sprawling over his hips, and thumbs pressing into his back. Xuxi pushes him gently aside so he can stand under the shower head. Ten lets him, unable to put up a fight. 

The younger is touchy with Ten, whether it’s a hand on his thigh, on the small of his back or an arm over his shoulders, but he has never touched him like _that_ before. Maybe Ten is overthinking it, painting a white situation with dark, angry red hues. Perhaps it’s the alcohol helping him to see only what he wants. Or maybe it’s the fact that a moment ago Xuxi was giggling about being in the shower with him and now he’s touching his naked body unprompted. 

But it’s all just the icing on the cake. 

Xuxi wets his turquoise hair, a little overgrown at the roots, using his long fingers to push it back along the top of his head. And Ten comes face-to-face with the physical embodiment of sin. It’s just as he imagined earlier– eyes closed, long, dark lashes resting innocently against his cheekbones, water rushing down the sharp lines of his face, long neck, his collarbones, his pectorals, his nipples, his abs. 

Ten feels like he’s going to pass out.

The worst thing he could do right now is get hard. Because Xuxi is his straight friend, band member, and teammate. He almost feels guilty for wanting him despite those imperfect odds. Ten can’t explain his attraction. He doesn’t know when it started or how on Earth this will end. 

They never really talked about what they used to do back then. WayV activities and dorm life didn’t exactly support it—but maybe that was just an excuse. Maybe, in all honesty, Ten was scared. He was scared of failure, of rejection, of not getting this thing he set his heart on.

Ten feels like a fool for holding onto whatever it was, for desperately hoping and wishing for another moment to indulge these crude fantasies of his dongsaeng. He really ought to just let it go. One day, sooner rather than later, he’s going to have to.

But that day is not today. Emboldened by Xuxi’s touch and the alcohol still swimming in his bloodstream, Ten makes his decision. 

Before he can talk himself out of it, he sinks to his knees. They hit the tiled floor with a gentle thud and Xuxi’s eyes flicker open. They land on Ten in an instant, glinting in the dim, fluorescent light. 

“Oh,” Xuxi smiles, “It’s been a while.”

It has been almost a year since he’s touched Xuxi, but suddenly the scene feels so familiar, so _right_. _This_ is where Ten belongs. 

“Yeah,” he rests his hands on Xuxi’s hips, holding his gaze as his lips press just under his belly button. “‘M sorry.”

His palms slide to Xuxi’s thighs as his lips descend to his pelvis. Xuxi is pretty down here too – dark, thinly trimmed hair that curls along the base of his dick, which is just as thick and long as Ten remembers it, even laying limp against his thigh. 

“Why?” Xuxi frowns cutely. 

Ten squeezes the flesh until it dimples. His cock twitches. He’s interested, at least.

“I’ve been neglecting you,” he pouts. He’s almost positive he feels worse about it than Xuxi does.

“That’s okay.” He’s such a good boy. Good boys deserve a reward. 

“Will you let me make it up to you?” he asks, although it feels more like begging. 

A moment hangs between them, but it’s not thick with tension, but rather, calm and tentative. It feels like time is standing still. And perhaps it is _something_ , that Ten isn't afraid. Alcohol or not, he is able to forget those fears of rejection and instead anticipate Xuxi’s next words with excitement.

“...Yeah, hyung,” he inhales. 

With his consent, Ten curls his fingers around Xuxi’s cock. He brings the head up to his lips, parts them and slowly feeds it inside. It glides along the flat of his tongue and the feeling is familiar and comforting like coming home. He swirls the tip around it before sinking further onto it, drawing more and more of Xuxi’s length into his mouth. 

“Fuck,” the younger moans weakly, as he grows to full hardness. 

Ten’s eyes flutter when Xuxi nudges the back of his throat. He knows he can take him deeper. He wants to. But he doesn’t want to go too fast. He’s much too eager to pick up where they left off. 

For now he just settles into something slow and steady. Xuxi likes it slow, likes to relish in the feeling, to focus on every detail, to fully appreciate the hot, wet caress Ten’s mouth provides. By now, the elder knows him well. 

He closes his eyes and just bobs, forcing his lips open on Xuxi’s cock again and again. He allows _himself_ to relish in it, to enjoy the complex feeling it stirs in the bottom of his stomach. _God_ , he’s missed this. 

His hand curls around the base as he pulls off. It feels good in his palm, hard and slick with his own saliva. Ten jerks it a few times, torn between the sight in front of him and the one above. Something intense flares in him when he looks at Xuxi, when he sees pleasure so ungodly taking over his godlike features. 

“I missed this,” Ten finds himself admitting. Xuxi’s hand goes to his hair, fingertips rubbing his roots gently.

“Me too,” he breathes hard. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mmhm,” Xuxi shivers when Ten’s lips fold over the head, suckling softly. He pulls off again, teasing the tip of his tongue into the sensitive slit. 

“Did you think about it?” Ten pushes, unsure where this confidence is coming from. He keeps his fist moving on his cock, knuckles loose around the base and tightening towards the end.

“Hyung,” he whimpers, overwhelmed.

“C’mon, babe. Tell me,” he coaxes gently.

“I thought about it. I…I thought about your mouth,” Xuxi stammers, shy. 

“You wanted my mouth? Why didn’t you just say so? I would’ve given it to you,” Ten says before licking a stripe up the underside, leaving a wet trail in his wake.

“I… _oh_ ,” the younger starts. He loses his train of thought when Ten welcomes him back into it, taking him all the way this time. Xuxi’s fingers tighten in his hair when the tip starts pushing into his throat.

Ten’s eyes water as he fights his gag reflex. He loves having the boy’s big, hard cock filling him. He loves that Xuxi is making it difficult for him to think, to _breathe_. Ten loves feeling like this - being pushed to his absolute limits. He gets so much pleasure from it alone, even if Xuxi never lays a finger on him he could find it in his heart to be content. 

Ten deepthroats him a few times, but retracts before Xuxi can get lost in the sensation. He needs oxygen. 

“Am I doing good?” he drags his thumb and index finger over the sensitive head. It’s thick and pink and shining with his own spit. 

“Yeah. It’s good. So good. Fuck, I just–“

“What is it?” 

“I want … I don’t know,” he backtracks. 

“It’s okay. It’s just me,” Ten rubs his thighs, “I’ll let you do anything.”

He doesn’t normally like to expose his submissive side openly, prefers to let it be a pleasant surprise. It’s often well received because Ten usually chooses partners he perceives as dominant. Xuxi is different, though. He emits both energies, however leans toward submissive. But he is also deeply ingrained in archaic and toxic ideas of masculinity. It makes trying to have sex with him very difficult, if not impossible, as another man. 

Clearly, at this present moment, Xuxi’s sexuality is negotiable, but nevertheless Ten wants to make him as comfortable as possible expressing his desires. Believe it or not, this is progress, and he doesn’t want to fuck it up.

Xuxi grimaces, Adam’s apple bobbing when he swallows, “I think… I want to touch you back.”

Something curls in Ten’s lower stomach. He doesn’t know whether he is more amazed or aroused by Xuxi’s words. He feels just… _happy_ all of a sudden– probably _too_ happy. 

“What do you want to do to me?” he wonders.

“I … I don’t know. Whatever you want,” he murmurs, eyes closed.

“You don’t have to,” Ten sighs. The last thing he wants is for Xuxi to do something out of pity.

“No, I want to.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. I… I honestly…thought about it, too,” Xuxi says, voice trembling. 

And _that…_ is not something Ten can process right now. 

He’s already hard as a rock against his belly, just from sucking the younger off. His mind is swirling with everything that’s happened so far tonight, and the sudden likelihood that he will get what he wants. 

“Fuck. Okay,” he nods, processing. 

The younger extends his hands, grips Ten’s elbows and tugs him back up into a standing position. 

Xuxi lays his hand on the base of his spine and pulls him closer. 

“Tell me what to do. I don’t … never done this with a guy before,” he says softly. 

And Ten is honored that his (allegedly) straight bandmate feels comfortable enough to share his thoughts with him, to want to experiment with him. 

“I’ll show you. It’s just like when you do it to yourself,” Ten grips his hand and brings it down to his erection. 

Xuxi’s palm is warm and soft, and his long fingers look _ridiculous_ wrapping around it. Ten’s dick is relatively small in comparison, even at full hardness. He can’t deny how hot it is to see Xuxi’s big hand on him. He closes his fist over it and almost covers the whole thing - only the very tip is still visible. Oh, how it makes Ten’s heart race, legs shake, all the air leaving his lungs in a rush. 

Perhaps the sight affects him much more than it should, but Ten doesn’t care. He’s fantasized about this moment more times than he can count. 

“Like this?” he asks, unsure, as he starts moving it up and down the shaft. 

“Yeah, babe. Just like that. Here–“ he pulls his hand away and spits into it. 

Xuxi touches him again and this time, it feels right. Ten does the same for him, only where the younger can use one hand, he has to use two. 

Ten melts into the sensation. Xuxi’s hand on his cock, his fingers pulling over the head in gentle repetition. His palm provides an almost cruel friction that he’s sure wouldn’t feel good in any other scenario. But in the current circumstances, it more than does the job. 

Ten feels _insane_ just from everything else that led up to this moment–heart pounding, breaths picking up as thick tendrils of heat rush down his spine. The fact alone that this beautiful boy is touching him- jerking him off- is more than his drunken mind can comprehend. Xuxi is making such a mess of him. He knows it won’t take much more. 

He focuses whatever mental energy he has left on Xuxi, hands working in tandem over his shaft. He misses feeling it in his mouth, but if he had to trade that to feel Xuxi touch him like this for the first time, to get him off– it was definitely worth it. 

Ten is coming undone. It still seems like it’s too soon, but he shouldn’t be surprised that the boy has this much control over his body. He can’t help but stare down between them, totally entranced by what Xuxi is doing.

“Your _hand_ … looks so good around me, babe. _Fuck_ , it feels good,” he moans, his hips rocking into the other’s movements. The heat is concentrated at the base of his spine now, and quickly starts to expand. 

“I’m close, hyung. D-don’t stop,” Xuxi stutters. 

Ten spits in his palm again and speeds up his movements. And he feels it when Xuxi’s dick twitches between his hands, his hips stuttering. Ten can barely hold his eyes open but he has to watch Xuxi cum. 

It only takes a few more strokes for him to tense up, shooting thick, white ropes from the tip, painting Ten’s chest, his stomach, his hands, the shower floor. He cums and cums and Ten keeps it moving until he starts to shudder with sensitivity. 

Xuxi drags his fist over Ten’s cock in fast, full strokes now. He wants to hold his gaze, to cherish every heart pounding, breath stealing, soul taking detail about this moment.

But he can’t stop himself from melting completely. His body feels so warm, everywhere, static tingling along his nerve endings, simmering low in his belly. He feels like Xuxi is sucking his spirit right out of him, pulling it painfully from his body and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

A soft sob tears from his throat as he climaxes, eyes rolling, his fingernails digging into Xuxi’s biceps. He cums in several wet rivulets over Xuxi’s hand, his entire body shaking.

There’s a moment where they just stay there, panting hard against each other. Ten comes down from the high quickly, his mind instantly taken by the fact that _Xuxi just made him cum_. He tries not to show how satisfied he feels, or how happy he is on his face. 

Xuxi is slower, as per usual. He smiles sleepily at Ten, making no effort to move or speak in what feels like forever.

“Okay?” Ten asks him after a long moment, wasting no time to rinse the bodily fluids from his body. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. You?” Xuxi finally answers.

“I’m great.” 

They clean up in silence and finish in the shower. Xuxi cuts the water and they step out, grabbing fluffy white hotel towels. 

Ten doesn’t feel awkward. He hopes Xuxi doesn’t either, as they dry off, then brush their teeth and take care of skincare routines. 

He has long since dealt with his attraction to men so he doesn’t feel like they did something bad just now, but he does wonder how his straight bandmate feels. Ten never thought they would go that far. 

But he tries his best not to overthink it. Xuxi usually gets kinda quiet and tired after sex anyway. Not to mention the kind of day they’ve had. 

When the lights go out and they slip under the covers, Ten is not expecting more than a hasty goodnight before they both knock out after such an exhausting twenty four hours. 

He can’t deny a part of himself is already mentally preparing for something awkward, like, Xuxi acting weird tomorrow or never acknowledging what they just did ever again. He’s not, however, expecting the younger boy to call him in the darkness of the hotel room.

“Ten hyung?”

“Mm?” he hums into the pillow.

“In the future… you know. Can … could we maybe, do it again?” 

Ten’s heart flutters. 

“Sure, babe.”


	3. Chapter 3

_**2020** _

The summer heat wave is brutal and having a comeback right in the middle of it is sheer torment. The dressing room is stuffy and crowded and no one is social distancing. They haven’t even been on stage yet, and Ten is already sweating profusely, which is certainly tragic because he’s in makeup and his stage outfit already.

As if waking up early for music shows after a long rehearsal with SuperM that ran until midnight wasn’t already trying, he still has to look forward to actually _performing_ and then filming some kind of Bad Alive promotional content. He won’t meet with his bed again until late this afternoon. It’s so very disrespectful. And his WayV babies are being entirely too loud. Mostly Yangyang.

Ten is sitting off to the side, trying to cool himself down with a fan. Idle, his eyes naturally fall on Xuxi. How can they not?

The boy is having concealer blended out under his eyes by a noona with pretty, dainty hands. Short blonde hair, kind eyes. The rest of her face is hidden by a black mask. Ten is comfortable with the staff, but he feels like he’s never paid much attention to her before. She’s cute.

It’s not that she’s any competition when Huang Xuxi is just a few centimeters away, though. Long lashes fan out against his cheekbones as she uses her index finger to apply a bit of brown eyeshadow to the lid. His straight brows, naturally full lips. Gorgeous.

It’s been almost three years since the boy debuted. He’s seen Xuxi in a plethora of hair colors, styles, concepts, and stages. But Ten doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of admiring him.

His heart swells whenever he looks at his younger brother. It almost makes everything about this year that’s been so anxiety inducing filter to the back of his mind. Xuxi is like Ten’s calming medicine, like a drug that soothes his stress. He makes him laugh, makes him forget.

Dejun and Hendery have already gotten dressed and are sitting in front of Xuxi by the mirror. They seem to be speaking about something in hushed tones. Ten can’t hear them from over the sound of chattering overhead, doors closing, the whirring of the fan in his hand.

Dejun whispers something to Hendery, and the boy giggles into his palm. His eyes shift to Xuxi, and then to the makeup noona, whose back is turned to them.

Ten frowns. _What’s that about?_

Maybe it’s this: there are too many insecure, hyper masculine straight boys in WayV and it’s _horrible_ for Ten, who is obviously the effeminate, flying colors type of gay. Whenever there’s a pretty girl in the vicinity - like this noona - they can’t seem to control themselves. They seriously act like high schoolers.

What does a person even _gain_ from being heterosexual? It’s really not something Ten can understand.

It also sucks because Ten knows in the dorm, hanging around Hendery and Dejun, and even Winwin sometimes, fucks with Xuxi’s head. He feeds on their energy, and often gets sucked right back into those horribly toxic ideas of gender and sexuality that Ten has tried so hard to tear him out of.

But at the end of the day, despite how terrible it is to even think, Xuxi is straight. He always has been. Perhaps he always will be.

It’s been easy to forget that lately, when at least once a week Xuxi texts Ten late at night to come to the hallway bathroom, when his long fingers slip past the elastic band of his briefs to curl around his swollen cock, tugging long and slow until his eyes roll back.

Right now, the memory feels strangely distant, as if it never even happened at all.

Xuxi’s big, black eyes flicker open. He immediately looks at the makeup noona—into her own. They stay there for a long time as she applies something to his bottom lip. It’s strange. For a moment, he almost seems ... entranced.

Ten’s gut clenches.

He can admit this woman is attractive. He’s not petty enough to try to convince himself that she’s not. Unfortunately she’s not his type.

But what _he_ thinks of her is not really that important. What Xuxi thinks on the other hand - now that is something it seems they are all much more interested in.

Especially since when she pulls away and turns her head to grab something, Dejun gives Xuxi a _look_ that tells Ten practically everything. Hendery gives him a comical thumbs up and waggles his eyebrows and Xuxi just looks down. He smiles shyly, rubbing his palms together.

She adds a few finishing touches, and setting spray before wrapping up. Xuxi gives himself a once over in the mirror, before thanking her softly.

He suddenly shoots from his seat, going straight to grab Hendery by his stage outfit and rattling him gently, as if he really wants to strangle him. Dejun points and laughs until the elder comes to him next. He leaps up quickly and then Xuxi is not necessarily chasing him out of the room, but there is a certain haste about his steps.

And Ten hates the feeling that lives in his chest as he watches the makeup noona clean her work station. Yangyang eventually comes to bother him, and it’s a distraction he didn’t know he would ever be grateful for.

Even after the moment has long passed and they are called to the stage, it’s impact weighs heavy.

It bothers Ten for the rest of the day. Although he’s not sure why.

The way Xuxi looked at her was perhaps the most exasperating thing. She wasn’t even looking back. For a long moment he seemed to be suspended in time and space itself. He seemed … mystified by her eyes, as if they held some kind of deadly numbing poison.

Maybe that is just the effect of a woman on a straight man. It is something Ten will never comprehend, as he is neither.

It’s not that Xuxi finding her pretty is the issue. A beautiful person demands to be beheld. But perhaps it was the way the others had teased him, making faces on the sidelines as if there is something _more_ to the story.

Does Xuxi like her? Is that what this is?

Ten knows Xuxi is straight and that if it weren’t for their circumstances, their status as idols, privacy, their schedules and other factors that make it difficult for them to date, he wouldn’t be messing around with him. He would be fucking _girls_. Duh.

So even the possibility of Xuxi having a crush on a makeup noona shouldn’t bother him.

Oh, but it _does_.

If anything, he should be happy for the boy. Ten really ought to be _supportive_.

He shouldn’t be scorching so hot with jealousy he feels like his brain is about to melt in his head and spill out of his ears.

Winwin is playing games with Hendery in the living room, so when Ten wakes up from his nap that evening, he goes straight to Xuxi’s room. He’s not sure what he intends to do or say to him. He’s just feeling a little insecure and downtrodden after what happened earlier, and Xuxi always makes him feel better. (Even when he’s the one who made him feel bad in the first place.)

Dejun slips out of his room carrying Bella in his arms like a baby, as if she doesn’t have twice as many legs. He passes Ten on his way into the kitchen and it’s a truly sorry sight to see him still treating her like that. Especially since she’s already grown so much, but he really can’t say anything about it. He’s just as bad, if not worse, with Leon and Louis.

Ten peeks around the door into the room. Xuxi is laying on his bed on his back, shirtless, holding his phone between his fingers. He seems immersed in whatever he’s doing. He doesn’t even notice he’s being watched.

“What are you doing?” he asks, finally entering, closing the door behind him.

Xuxi looks up. “Oh. Hey, hyung. Just… texting someone.”

“Who?” Ten sits on the edge of his bed.

“...Nosy much?” Xuxi smiles at him.

“Xuxi,” he whines, slapping his foot, “Indulge me. I’m bored. I need entertainment.”

“You mean, you need attention.”

“That too,” Ten agrees. But then Xuxi’s phone dings and that attention he craves so much is gone again, redirected to whoever is on the other side of that message thread.

Annoyed, he reaches over and snatches the boy’s phone out of his hands. Xuxi’s reflexes have always been relatively slow. He’s got no chance up against Ten, who prides himself in being rather nimble.

“Yah!” Xuxi cries, eyes like saucers. He doesn’t look too mad. But even if he was, Ten wouldn’t care. Xuxi is the least intimidating person he knows. He ignores the younger’s protests as he looks at the phone screen, eyes squinting to the very top of it, where the contact info would sit.

He feels annoyance building in the center of his forehead when he sees a series of digits - remembering then that Xuxi doesn’t save numbers as contacts because he’s too lazy.

Xuxi is getting up now, so Ten starts going in the other direction. He scrolls up the thread, eyes scanning the conversation for anything that might give him a clue as to who the boy is talking to. It’s casual, nothing really outlandish to note, and relatively short, which means they must have exchanged numbers only recently. But towards the top there is a link to a cosmetics website. Ten draws in a sharp breath. He takes a shot in the dark.

“Oh shit–is this that noona from earlier? The blonde?” he goes for teasing, hoping it will mask his true feelings.

Xuxi tries to grab his phone back. Ten evades him by switching it to his other hand.

“ _... Hyung_ ,” he mutters, voice going insanely deep. Ten tries to ignore the way it makes his stomach flip.

“Well, is it?” he forces.

“Maybe. Why?”

“No reason. I’m just curious.”

“Okay, great. Now give it back–,” his fingers curl in the fabric of Ten’s shirt, tugging him closer against his will.

“Aish–why are you being so touchy? Is it because you have a crush on her?” Ten tries to weasel his way out of the boy’s hold. It’s difficult. Xuxi is strong.

“No,” his frown deepens.

“Liar. You answered too fast,” the elder teases him.

“I don’t,” he insists.

“Oh yeah? You better let me go. Or I might accidentally send something you wouldn’t want her to see…” Ten tries to hold the boy’s phone out of his range, but there is no range of his that Xuxi does not already have and more.

Eventually the bigger boy just gets tired of playing this childish game.

He clutches the fabric of Ten’s shirt even tighter and uses his strength to turn him around, so his back is now toward him. Dizzy and disoriented, it’s easy for Xuxi to grab Ten’s forearm and wrench it behind his back. Now he only has one hand; he can’t keep the phone _and_ fight back at the same time.

He twists and struggles for a bit, because he’s not one to give in easily. He thinks Xuxi is short sighted for doing that because now he only has one hand too. It makes it more difficult for him to reach for his phone when Ten is using every muscle in his body to keep it from him.

Soon he must realize that because he lets go of Ten’s arm, and the elder almost makes the mistake of thinking he’s regained the upper hand. But then Xuxi’s arms are looped around his midsection, clutching him in an iron like vice.

As a final resort, Xuxi sweeps both of his feet up behind one of his ankles. It catches Ten completely off guard and he feels himself falling before he can stop it.

All the air leaves his lungs when he hits the ground with a heavy sounding thud. The light fixtures rattle and shake as if there’s been a damn earthquake. Xuxi lands on top of him, and Ten realizes in a sudden headrush that he’s just been _tackled_ like a rugby player.

“Xuxi–,” he groans more out of annoyance than pain, cheek pressed against the cold, hardwood floor.

“Give it, hyung,” the younger demands. Ten doesn’t know why he’s still asking.

“Never,” the elder mutters, resolutely, still holding the phone to his chest.

His other hand tries to reach for something, anything nearby for leverage to pull himself out from under Xuxi. But Xuxi reaches underneath him, curls his fingers around his other wrist and pulls his hand out from underneath him.

Ten rolls onto his back and Xuxi sits up on his haunches and for a moment they’re both just tugging the phone back and forth until Xuxi finally uses his strength to rip it out of Ten’s fingers. He tosses it above Ten and it lands on Winwin’s bed, well out of his reach.

“I win,” Xuxi hums, matter of factly.

And Ten doesn’t know what it is - maybe his ego is bruised because he lost, because Xuxi, his dongsaeng, so easily overpowered him, or maybe it’s from jealousy, because Xuxi was texting a girl he obviously likes. Maybe it’s from shame. It’s truly embarrassing that after a long, arduous fight, he has nothing to show for his efforts.

Ten really doesn’t know what it is. But there's...frustration there. He’s a sore loser. He doesn’t do well when things don’t go his way.

He finds himself struggling even more than before, squirming underneath Xuxi, lifting his hips to try to buck him off. He must be stronger than he thought because when Xuxi’s hands wrap around his wrists he puts up a pretty good fight. Teeth bared, he shoves at the boy roughly, and their arms waver back and forth as power is redistributed between them.

Ultimately, the younger boy just raises himself up slightly, using the extra force of gravity to pin Ten’s arms to the floor by his head.

A beat passes like that, both breathing hard, staring at each other.

Some obscure emotion buzzes under Ten’s skin when he looks up at the boy, eyes narrowed, brows furrowed. He wishes he could understand the effect Xuxi has on him.

Ten can’t deny that he looks good right now, above him, holding him against the floor, dark brown hair falling over his wide, frenzied eyes, nostrils flaring with every exhale. His eyes scale his form completely of their own volition, down his neck to his chest, to his pretty collarbones and the tattoo on his left side. His skin looks so warm and soft.

Ten swallows.

He’s not sure what makes Xuxi look down. But he does. And Ten gets a sinking feeling in his chest.

He is wearing black shorts, so it’s hard to see, but Ten doesn’t miss, rather he cannot miss how the front of them is tented, fabric straining around the shape of his erection. His stomach dips when he realizes that Xuxi has seen it, too.

Although the humiliating defeat he just experienced is twice as humiliating now, Ten’s more ashamed to admit how long it takes him to realize that this frustrated heat boiling in his blood... is because he’s turned _on_.

Because Xuxi is sweet and gentle with everyone, but especially him. So Ten’s body may be betraying him right now, exposing the fact that he likes to be manhandled.

He was too focused on being jealous to really enjoy the way Xuxi touched him, how he had forced him to submit. But now that Ten is thinking about it, he really can’t stop.

He swallows hard before slowly lifting his gaze.

Their eyes meet and Xuxi’s tongue darts over his bottom lip, as if he's contemplating something. And Ten’s mind is already wandering into dangerous territory.

“You okay there, hyung?” he smiles slyly. Ten averts his eyes to the ceiling.

“...Great,” he whispers. He needs to calm down. There’s no reason for Xuxi to have this much power over him. It’s embarrassing.

But it doesn’t seem like Ten is going to be able to pull himself together anytime soon. Because that’s when Xuxi’s hand reaches in between their bodies. Ten inhales when he feels it make contact with the hardness in his pants– palming over it a few times.

“You like it?” Xuxi hums. He arches slightly, allowing the sensation to wash over him. He rubs his fingertips along the shaft through the material, making it ripple as it drags roughly over his sensitive skin.

Ten closes his eyes. “You know I do.”

The younger finally moves. He lets go of Ten and rests one elbow on the floor next to his head, propping his weight onto it. He holds Ten’s gaze, teeth pressing into his bottom lip as he grinds down once.

Ten moans softly as their dicks collide through their clothes. He does it again, and after a couple times he feels Xuxi getting hard. The friction is _good_ , already making his core tight with desperation.

“Xuxi,” he breathes. The familiar warmth licks at his bones.

“Hyung,” Xuxi’s long lashes flutter when he grips his sides and rubs his cock against his, mind clearly numb with pleasure already.

Ten wants so much his head is full. He wants everything he’s always wanted, for months and years he’s lusted after his straight friend, his coworker and teammate. But he’s not expecting Xuxi to give it to him. Perhaps Xuxi is one of the only people who can tell Ten no, even if it’s in his own, uniquely infuriating way.

But perhaps not. _Nothing_ in Ten’s twenty four years on Earth could ever prepare him for what the younger does next. His baby, his bandmate, Xuxi, sickly sweet like maple syrup, suddenly grabs two fistfuls of his t-shirt and uses his strength to flip him back onto his front.

And Ten thinks being manhandled like this, taking Xuxi’s full power and just not knowing what he’s capable of, is something that turns him on too _much_. Pushing his gentle boy until he’s frustrated and tired and doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Until he gives up control.

Ten really wants Xuxi to fuck him like that - with reckless abandon, with a hue of desperation that colors him black and blue. Maybe one day it will come to that. If this is any confirmation, it won’t take much to get him riled up.

In this position, Ten can’t see what Xuxi is doing, but he sure as shit feels those hands curling around his hips, and when he grinds his hard cock against his ass, forcing him further into the floor. Ten sits up on his elbows and arches his back, pushing back into his movements.

Electricity ricochets through his body as he’s used like this, as he brings pleasure to his bandmate in a way that only he can. It’s so gratifying already, but in no way is Ten satisfied.

He can’t stop his mind from going there - especially when Xuxi’s hands are on his waist, dragging him backwards so he can rub off on his backside, again and again. It’s a familiar position, although one Ten hasn’t been in for quite some time.

He feels Xuxi’s thumb pressing into the flesh just below his ass through the material of his shorts. He digs in, and Ten gets an intrusive mental image— Xuxi pressing dark bruises into his flesh as he rocks back onto his cock.

Ten’s not sure why it affects him so strongly. He fantasizes about Xuxi’s cock often, about feeling it’s long length, it’s thick girth, swollen pink head prodding past his entrance and sinking deep to caress his insides. He can’t deny the thought makes him cum twice as hard when it’s just Xuxi’s hand around him.

But for some reason, right now, Ten can’t let it go. The thought of Xuxi splitting him open on his dick, pinning him down and using him like a whore is like the prettiest picture stained behind his eyes.

Maybe he is still jealous and in need of reassurance, or maybe it’s the way the boy handled him before. Or maybe Ten is never satisfied; he doesn’t think he ever will be when it comes to Xuxi.

He’s becoming more and more desperate for that kind of touch, especially when Xuxi’s hands slip along the waistband of his shorts before hastily pushing them down to sit on the tops of his thighs. His briefs come down and his cock is exposed to the cool dorm air, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. Then that massive hand is splayed along his ass, fingers pressing caves into the flesh.

This feels …different than it ever has. Xuxi has never touched him like this. But Ten definitely isn’t complaining. He’ll take whatever he can get.

“Hyung?” he hears, then feels a hand sliding up his spine. Ten cranes his neck to look at him over his shoulder.

“What is it?” he murmurs.

“I don’t … I don't know.”

“Yeah you do,” Ten closes his eyes. He knows what the boy is going to say, and he needs to hear it now. Right now.

It’s been _years_.

“…say it,” he begs, not even bothering to mask the desperation in his voice, “Please.”

Xuxi looks at him, eyes holding something deeper and darker than they ever have.

“Hyung, I…I really want to fuck you,” his voice shakes, “Like, properly.”

And at that, as if he wasn’t already turned on, Ten’s entire body alights like fucking nuclear explosion.

“Oh my God,” Ten inhales, his dick swells and throbs against his belly. He’s _overwhelmed_.

“What? Did you think about that too?” Xuxi massages his skin gently, mottling it.

“Babe… you have no idea,” he almost wants to laugh. This feeling… it’s absurd.

“What is it?”

“I’ve wanted you to fuck me for like two damn years now.”

“Really?” Xuxi seems shocked.

“Yes. Fuck, do you have lube?” Ten rushes. He’s waited long enough.

“Yeah,” the younger reaches over to the nightstand, into the drawer and tugs the small bottle out.

Where there was once a hurricane in Ten’s mind now there isn’t a single thought left. He cannot process the fact that Xuxi wants to _—is_ _about to fuck_ _him_. It goes against everything he’s told himself over the last two years, everything he knows. This shit is like a wet dream. Part of him wants to pinch himself just to be sure he doesn’t wake up in his own room in a cold sweat.

Ten can’t take his eyes off of the boy. It’s uncomfortable to look at him the way he’s turned–face down, ass up, but he literally can’t look away. He’s frozen in time and space. Arousal is like a hot brand smoldering his body, his mind as Xuxi pops the cap and drips lube messily over his fingers.

“Tell me what to do, hyung. I… I don’t–”

“I got you, babe. Just. Go slow, yeah? It’s been a while,”

He is so turned on he’s shaking. He wants Xuxi to be the one to touch him, but he can’t wait. He slips a hand down between his body and the floor, his fingers curling around his cock. He gives it a few dry, unsatisfying tugs.

Xuxi’s first finger traces his rim, just coating him in the lube and Ten feels like fuel has just doused the fire. The intense feeling grows even stronger, so strong it’s bordering painful when he feels the tip breach his body. Ten doesn’t have to worry about Xuxi going slow. Although he’s probably impatient to have something around his cock, he concentrates well on the task at hand.

And Ten could combust at the sensation. Xuxi holds his hip with his free hand as he sinks his index finger inside at an agonizing pace, eventually past the first knuckle, and finally to the last one. He tugs it back out gently, and Ten hangs onto the drag across his hypersensitive flesh. Forever passes before he pulls it all the way out.

“Is it… okay?” Xuxi asks, unsure.

“It’s good. Another one,” Ten instructs.

And Xuxi prods two digits at his entrance, gradually returning to his body. His middle finger seems endless and feels like a dream gliding into him, warm and slick and deep.

Xuxi works him open slowly, because he’s always so goddamn slow. He has big, beautiful hands and long, slender fingers. They press into Ten’s body with care, effortlessly fondling the deepest, most intimate parts of him, gently stroking the pads along his sensitive walls. It feels so good, Ten doesn’t know what to do.

“Fuck— your _fingers_ ,” Ten sobs, releasing a choked breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding. He pulls dryly on his stiff cock, desperate for any relief.

“Am I doing it right?” Xuxi wonders, tugging them out before pushing them back in.

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Fuck, I don’t – I c-can’t fucking think right now. I need more. Do one more.”

“So bossy,” the younger tsks, but adds some more lube before fitting in a third.

Then, he’s three fingers deep and Ten is so turned on he fears he might peak prematurely. He wants to last–to cum on Xuxi’s cock–but he’s been dreaming about this moment for so long. Those fantasies don’t even hold a candle to the real thing. Nothing has been more satisfying than getting Xuxi like this after years of quiet yearning. Ten thinks if he can have this, maybe he really can have anything.

Xuxi finger fucks him gently, steady, his wrist thrusting, free hand grappled on his hip. Perspiration mists on Ten’s back, eyes rolling, mouth hanging open as he rocks back into every motion, trying to draw those fingers even deeper. He trembles, tears slipping past the corners of his eyes, back bending with such an intense pleasure when Xuxi’s fingers curl upward and make contact with that small bump.

“Mm… I’ll cum if you do that,” Ten moans weakly, torn between canting forward into his fist and back onto them.

“Sheesh. Are you good? I'm dying here,” Xuxi complains.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he remembers what they’re meant to be doing, “Fuck me.”

Then everything moves so quickly. Although Xuxi is still cautious, focusing the last braincell they share on doing this right and not fucking up, Ten is delirious with desire. His senses are scrambling to form a perception but his receptors have gone offline. He cannot believe this is happening.

He acknowledges the rustle of fabric as Xuxi’s pants and boxers come down. He feels a warm palm sneaking under his shirt to connect with the small of his back, soothing back and forth along his overheated skin. There's a twinge of disappointment when he hears the crinkle of foil as Xuxi puts a condom on, then more lube. Finally, Ten feels the blunt head pressing against his hole, grazing the outside of it.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” Xuxi’s free hand slips down to his stomach, rubbing the muscles. 

“I can take it,” Ten assures. He’s been mentally preparing himself to take Xuxi’s big dick since the moment he first laid eyes on it.

“Okay. I’m going…” he trails as he starts applying pressure.

Ten gnaws his bottom lip when he feels Xuxi pressing against his opening. It takes a bit of force, but after a few moments the thick, engorged tip delves past his rim. Xuxi takes his time sinking into him, stretching him bit by bit and Ten is forever grateful. Ten’s body sucks him in like a vortex, almost more impatient than he is to have Xuxi hot and hard and snug inside.

It’s uncomfortable. It always is at first because Ten is impatient. Nevertheless he can already feel the pangs of painful pleasure teething at his spine, pulsating between his hips. Xuxi is so _big_ and Ten feels like he’s being torn apart, like he’s going to come up the back of his fucking throat. He _loves_ it.

“Fuck,” Xuxi grits, nails digging into Ten’s belly when he’s fully sheathed, hips flush against his thighs.

“Does it feel good?” Ten clenches his eyes tight against the burn.

“Yeah,” he affirms after a long moment, shifting his hips just slightly. He’s so tight. It must be hard to keep still.

“You feel good, too, babe. You make hyung feel so good,” he pants, and then Xuxi is frantically asking and Ten is stammering out just as frenzied yes, _yes–_

His pelvis collides with Ten’s ass and a filthy slap rings out in the quiet room. The elder feels his heart drop way down to his stomach, eyes rolling as Xuxi drives his cock into him hard, forcing his soft body open, again, then again.

He sets a leisurely pace, one that allows Ten to really focus on everything he feels, every painstaking, heart wrenching sensation. Xuxi’s cock is long and he fucks Ten to the hilt every time, reaching insanely deep. He can’t remember the last time he had dick like this, that made him feel like his guts were being rearranged.

Ten twists and writhes underneath the boy, dazed with sweet pleasure. He pains with the effort it takes him _not_ to cry out. Because he _wants_ to. In that moment, he does not give a fuck about the other members.

He wants them all to know what he and Xuxi get up to, so they can never again try to plant silly, one dimensional ideas of sexuality in his mind. _This_ is what Xuxi wants. Right now, he wants Ten and Ten _has_ him. Even if one day this all falls apart, or Xuxi decides he doesn’t anymore, or even if he likes a girl. Right now, it’s _enough_.

It’s _more_ than enough. Perhaps it’s too much. Ten almost doesn’t think he can handle what Xuxi is doing to him. He’s powerless against the way the boy drives him, when his thrusts finally increase in speed and his strong hips and thighs start pounding against his ass, knuckles white as he clutches his waist. His body grips Xuxi harshly but still he penetrates Ten so perfectly, like their whole fucking lives have led them to this, like the history of the world and mankind only actualized the moment his cock slipped between Ten’s thighs.

Ten fights through the haze and turns his head, just to see the look of sheer ecstasy painted across his face. He’s more beautiful than any picture in any museum. He looks lost in it, eyes closed like he’s having a divine experience. Xuxi is so expressive, so responsive and Ten wants to rub at the wrinkles in his brow, to cup his face and use his thumb to pull his bottom lip out from under his teeth.

“ _Mm_ , so perfect, Xuxi baby. Fuck me so _good_ ,” Ten croons, hips rolling back into his ministrations.

Xuxi hooks one hand over his shoulder, the other coming to rest high on the back of his thigh. He uses his thumb to hold Ten open, and Ten can feel it when he traces it over his rim, probably so red and puffy.

The slight shift in angle makes Xuxi’s heavy girth bump right over his prostate when he glides back in. And Ten makes a sound that’s animalistic in his throat.

“ _Ohh_ , right there. Please, don’t stop. I’m gonna cum,” he blabbers, stupefied by his bandmate’s cock.

“Then cum hyung, I’m— fuck, I’m close,” Xuxi stutters.

“‘Need your _hand_. I want to cum on your cock with your hand on my dick,” Ten reaches for it blindly. Xuxi lets him guide it down, down under his torso. He’s still got a little lube on it from fucking around with his ass. Thank god.

His big hand coils around Ten’s little cock, not needing any further directions before it starts to move. Xuxi jerks him with a practiced ease after so many months of it, learning his body and what it likes. And the furnace in Ten’s stomach blazes hotter and hotter. The combination of those lovely lithe fingers pulling on his dick, and Xuxi’s dick nudging that sensitive spot, and every pulse that has warmth riveting up his spine. The tension builds and builds until Ten feels it snap.

His orgasm flourishes like a flame, sizzling down his arms and legs, from his head to his toes. His vision whites out as his balls draw up and he cums in thick, long spurts over Xuxi’s perfect fingers, over his belly and the wood floor.

Xuxi strokes him until he curls away with a whimper, overstimulated. And the boy follows not long after, dimpling Ten’s soft skin with the force of his grip as he fucks him as he likes to finish. Ten can’t really feel it, due to the pesky latex barrier between them, but he knows when Xuxi cums. He can tell by they way the younger sounds, and how he looks. His hips stutter but he keeps pitching forward, milking his orgasm for all it’s worth. 

It feels like it ends much quicker than it began. Xuxi slows to stop and Ten is suddenly hyper aware of the fact that he’s a sticky mess on his bedroom floor, glistening with sweat and his own pearly white release.

Xuxi smooths his big, warm palm over Ten’s midsection. He drops his head on his back, hair tangling as he rubs it against the cotton of his shirt.

“Good?” Ten pants, glancing over his shoulder. Xuxi looks like an angel.

“Mhm. You?”

It’s a loaded question–one Ten isn’t exactly sure how to answer. For one, he feels good. He came, obviously. But emotionally, he has _never_ been happier. He wants to tell the boy that, to try to articulate these complex feelings that weigh on his heart. But he wouldn’t even know where to start.

”Yeah.” 

And Ten thinks–as Xuxi pulls out of him, strips off the condom, ties it off and disposes of it, then grabs them some tissues from the nightstand– he shouldn’t get so hot for his bandmate. He shouldn’t have these thoughts about him. When will it stop? Not only does it complicate their relationship, but Xuxi is straight. He would never want more than meaningless sex.

Right now, it’s enough, but if Ten gets any more invested, he’s going to get hurt.

He got what he wanted. This should be the end, but for some reason the panging is still incessant in his chest, perhaps stronger than ever before. Ten is insatiable and sorely addicted to everything Xuxi gives him. Despite the risks, he couldn’t resist. He dove into the unknown and he can’t come up now. He’s in too deep.

“So…” Xuxi starts, handing him some tissues. Ten is snatched from his reverie.

“What were you gonna tell noona now?” he makes himself laugh. Ten laughs too, because it’s funny.

“… definitely not about what we just did,” he rolls over, takes Xuxi’s outstretched hand and lets the younger help him off the floor. His stiff bones crack a little at the sharp movement after being folded on the floor for so long. He wipes off and tosses the tissues into the bin, then pulls his shorts back up over his hips.

“What were you guys talking about anyway? That you almost murdered me because you didn’t want me to see?”

“Shouldn’t you know? You read the entire convo–”

“I didn’t see a damn thing. You … distracted me,” Ten huffs, words emphasize with a playful jab at his arm.

“Uh-huh. Sure. It’s not what it looks like, hyung. I’m just trying to get ahead on this bet,” Xuxi grabs his phone, finally seeing her response.

“Bet?” he frowns, “What bet?”

“Me and Guangheng and Dejun have a bet. It’s like, whoever gets that makeup noona to fall for them first gets to eat for free for a month. Courtesy of the losers,” he explains, then raises his finger, “Which, I will not be.”

 _Oh_.

“That’s …kind of fucked up, though,” Ten makes a face. Straight men are a disease.

“Eyy, come on. It’s just a game,” Xuxi whines, “To be honest, it’s probably not even going to work. ‘Cause I think someone said she’s a lesbian.”

Ten hates himself for feeling relieved.

“Good,” he breathes, uncrossing his arms.

“Why?” a smile slowly spreads across Xuxi’s face, “Don’t tell me you were jealous.”

“I wasn’t. I just don’t want you to take advantage of some poor girl. And give idols a bad name.”

“Right...” Xuxi trails. He’s not convinced.

“And,” Ten sighs, submitting, “I thought you liked her.”

“Mm,” Xuxi abandons his phone on the duvet. He takes one step closer to Ten, his eyes flickering down the line of his body, then coming back up to his eyes. He tilts his head.

“You thought I wouldn’t play with you anymore?”

“…something like that,” Ten huffs, folding his arms again. He hates when Xuxi looks down on him like this, doing it intentionally to make him feel small. But he doesn’t feel small. Not when he can have anything he wants in the whole wide world.

“Can you blame me for thinking a straight guy would choose a girl over me?”

Even if she is a lesbian.

“Hyung…” Xuxi chuckles to himself. It breaks into a full out grin, and he lowers his head against Ten’s shoulder, back shaking as he laughs.

The older frowns. “Yah… what’s so funny?”

He comes back up to look at him, running his fingers through his hair and pushing it back off his forehead. There’s this sheer, childlike energy in Xuxi’s eyes when he looks at Ten, amidst awe and wonder and joy. It’s nothing like how he looked at that girl. It’s stronger, brighter– so much so that it’s almost _painful_ to behold, like staring into the sun. Ten feels silly for not seeing it sooner.

“How can you think I’m straight?”

“What?” Ten shakes his head.

“I was literally _inside you_ just now,” Xuxi makes a crude gesture with his hands for emphasis, “That’s like, as not-straight as it gets.”

“Huh?” he doesn’t get it. Is this a joke?

“C’mon hyung. I mean, I guess I used to think I was... _before_ but, I’m definitely bi,” he continues.

“Eh?” Ten shoves at his chest. Xuxi catches his hand, and the elder tries not to dwell on the way his thumb rubs tenderly along the back of it.

“…Since when?”

“Since _you_ ,” Xuxi giggles, as if it’s so damn obvious.

And _damn_ , does it feel so good to have it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh why do dey have to be so effing cute ヽ(^◇^*)/
> 
>   
> [twt](https://twitter.com/tenderybitch)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/tenderybxtch)  
> [wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/tenderybitch)


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